Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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