If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
birth control should be required to get into college
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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