I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
