Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
