I just threw up on my dentist
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
