Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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