): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize
