btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
