we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
this is an emotional support booty call
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
