2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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