We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i just wanna soil my oats bro
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
