I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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