So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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