It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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