youre lurking in front of me
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
