He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
third nipple confirmed
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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