Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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