Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
