I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I'm getting married
To pizza
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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