It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
