nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
