All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
