drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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