kristin has been a bad kristin
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
