Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
