This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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