Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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