found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Randomize
