Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
