Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
