Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
