ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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