whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Boobs speak an international language.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
