You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
