as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
