Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
