You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
