The maid of honor just puked.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
