U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
