After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
She even gives head with a lisp.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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