yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
high people should be assigned attendants
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
