so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
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