i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Randomize
