He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Randomize
