My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
