You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
