Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
