I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
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