i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
