im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Randomize
