just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
